What makes a good bar?
If I see or hear the word mixologist anywhere, I’m out.
Friends,
These past few weeks, in addition to some therapeutic photography, I’ve been doing the important work of trying to find the best late-night happy hour in Seattle. And it hasn’t just been weekends, weekday late nights too. It’s hard work, arduous even, but someone has to do it. Fortunately, it’s the kind of work that is best suited to the dark, cold nights of February in the Pacific Northwest.
My appreciation for bars, pubs, or drinking establishments of all kinds is well documented. Bars are a place to commune with yourself or others. They’re a public space and we have yet to think of a better social equalizer. But writer David Coggins believes there’s a crisis in the modern drinking world and that it’s harder than ever to find a good place to drink. And though I think there can be high regional variance, I’m generally inclined to agree with him. There are plenty of fine places to grab a drink these days, yes, but they tend to be more scenes or experiences than they are bars. What feels harder to find is your daily driver, the neighborhood joint that feels impervious to changing tides or the trend du jour. It’s an important distinction.
But what exactly makes a good bar? How do you know when you’ve found one? Some qualities are personal, others are objective. Here are some notes and opinions from my drinking career thus far.
There is almost no correlation between the quality of a bar and its online reviews or ratings, especially outside the United States. In fact, more often than not they might even be inversely related. This is a particularly important for travelers to understand!
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You shouldn’t need reservations to grab a drink. A good bar should be able to accommodate whimsy.
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A good bar is one you can go to without tire. It shouldn’t be a chore to exist in, but rather a refuge from the outside world. The space itself should feel lived in and comfortable, not stuffy or sterile. This is a harder line to toe for upscale bars but important regardless of the ticket price.
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Bars are around to serve the community and, as such, a good bar knows it needs diversity in all aspects of its patrons’ identity. Stepping foot inside a bar should put people at ease, like you’ve been invited into a friend’s living room.
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The bartenders should be conversational and easy to banter with if you want, or respectfully distant if you don’t.
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If I see or hear the word mixologist anywhere, I’m out.
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I don’t want an experience, I want a drink. The bar shouldn’t exist for or cater towards social media - no pageantry, kitschy themes, neon signs, or absurd cocktail creations. I’m not there for the ~vibes~, I’m there to drink or converse.
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Music, if any, should be barely noticeable. I need to hear myself think or my friends talk. And the music should be played with intent - you should feel the bartender or publican’s personality, not some random Spotify playlist. And no jukebox, I don’t want to be mid-beer and have my ears suddenly assaulted with people singing along to “Chicken Fried.”
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Under no condition should there be karaoke. Or cover bands. Or, honestly, live music.
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A good bar does not need to serve beer, wine, and liquor. One will suffice. I’ve been to plenty of excellent bars that only serve one beer - as long as whatever they serve is good stuff and everything else is right, you’re in good hands.
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If a bar advertises itself as a cocktail bar, you generally need two orders to know what it’s worth: 1) one from their specials section to test out their creativity, and 2) a classic, like a martini, old fashioned, daiquiri, etc., to see if it’s a dependable establishment.
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Specialty wine and beer bars need to be curated by someone who knows their shit and, more importantly, has a perspective on the menu. Local options are great if possible, but not a requirement.
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There’s a difference between a bar and a restaurant with a bar. Food isn’t required in a bar and very few bars manage to do both food and drinks well.
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A good bar is open when you need it to be open.
Do I sound like a grumpy old man? Maybe. Anyway, back to the depths of Seattle late-night happy hours.
Skylar
I may disagree on live music 👀
I can’t argue against a single of your observations, but let me add an idea: at a good bar, some of people there know each other. It’s not required that everyone be known, but seeing that the people there are there because they feel like they’ll find friends is a good recommendation that it’s a decent place.